When we are born, we are just “as we are”. There is no difference between individuals. Feel as we feel, want as we want, and show natural emotions without any hesitation.
As we grow up and become aware of ourselves, however, we think others are different and make a boundary between them and ourselves. To have self-awareness means to “compare you with others”. We compare many things such as how we look, academic achievements and athletic talents.
“Good looking, smart and athletic person is superior.”
Who decided so?
It is a society we live now that decided it.
As we grow up, we are affected socially and make up our own sense of values.
In modern society, there are full of information and our minds are affected by many values, thoughts and prejudices.
It is, in a way, a social mind control and those who cannot get along with social value lose confidence and positive attitude, or cannot live as they are.
This should not be a reality.
Crumpled 10000 yen bill still has its value. It’s same for people. Get rid of a social mind control and find your true self.
9 ways to get rid of mind control and find yourself
1. Write down your memories
You first need to know what is controlling your mind. For example, if you are “not confident” of yourself, write down reasons “why you think so?” Suppose one of reasons was “because you have failed a qualification exam”.
Next, write down “why this failure led to lose your confidence?” “Not having a confidence” and “failing an exam” originally have nothing in common, but somewhat you are thinking them as same thing.
You should begin with objectively looking at things.
2. Present a problem
It is difficult to know what is bad about your mind control, so present a problem to find it out.
For example, you have a fear for foreign people. Ask yourself “am I really afraid?” Of course, you are not afraid of all foreign people and the truth maybe that you just have “a complex about English skill and unable to communicate with foreign people” that’s why you think you are afraid of them.
Ask yourself things and values you believe are true. You might see new perspectives.
3. Have a meeting by yourself
It is a technique called NLP, which you act as three different persons and think about a topic in many ways. If you have a bad relationship with someone, act with a perspective of you, your opponent, and others, and try to remove your mind control.
First, prepare 3 chairs. Put two face to face for you and an opponent. Third chair is put besides them as though it is objectively watching over you. It is a seat for “others”. Start speaking from your perspective; say everything you think as though people are sitting at other chairs.
Then, move to a chair of an opponent and speak to you from his/her perspective. Next, to a chair of others and observe you and an opponent objectively.
And give advises to you. By repeating this several times, you can get rid of your mind control and can realize something in new point of view.
4. Listen to a voice from your body
Our body is very honest. Heart beats faster and blood pressure increases with a stress. There are also researches suggesting that we age quicker and lifetime shortens with stress.
Our body responds honestly to excessive stress such as gray hair appear and feeling difficulty breathing. Modern society is emphasizing on how we think, and thinking poorly on attitudes of our heart. It makes us hard to concentrate and recognize our feelings.
When you imagine about mind control, think “how your body would respond”. Your body can give you a sign “you don’t need to think like that”.
5. Talk to people
Tips I mentioned so far can be done alone, but they lack in objective points of view. “To tell your opinion” is an objective action and it helps you to get out of your own point of view. It is also an innovative way to be aware of new things.
Talk to people you can relax with and who has a lot of experience, such as close friends, family, partner, boss, and teacher. They will listen to you seriously and give you some advice. As you talk to them, you can organize your feeling and realize that your problem is not as serious as you think.
So talk to people. You may recognize your true feeling.
6. Consult a specialist
To talk to someone close to you is a good idea, but another way is to consult a specialist. You need to go deeply inside to get rid of mind control, so it is recommended to see professionally trained counselor.
In Japan, there are phone counseling services which you can use free for first 45 minutes. Maybe you can make good use of it to know what counseling is like.
7. Understand your habit
If you can see your habits objectively, you would realize that you have some kinds of “habit” with your mind.
For example, you tend to get angry when you are pointed out with the way you talk. That’s because you think you are teased or made fun of, but a person said it may not be really thinking about it.
There is a mind control “I talk in strange way”, and that is why you overreact if someone points it out. If you know your habits beforehand, you can understand why you react in a way you do, and can get rid of wrong mind control.
8. Have a wide view
With a narrow view, you would stick to your value and be restricted by mind control. The truth is, the thing is just there, and you are adding meanings to it and judging it.
The judgment changes depend on person. It is like a shape of cone, looks circle from one side and triangle from the other. Try to look at things in wider point of view and try to understand different views. You can remove a chain from your thoughts.
9. If you are given a month to live…
If you are told “you have a month to live”, what would you do? Think it seriously and write it down on a paper. Things you wanted to do before dying, succession of property, think about your family, all the feelings you want to tell.
“A month to live” sounds like a joke to you, but “the last day of life” can become true to anyone. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Japan suffered from the Great East Japan Earthquake, but who could predict it? To imagine “the last month of your life” is effective to find who you really are.
And try to do your answers immediately, because they are the most important things for you.
How was it?
We see things through our own filter. Sometimes the fact is manipulated or blurred, and we can’t see the truth. It is important to straighten and clear our filter and see things as they are. See yourself objectively, understand your habits, get rid of excess mind control, and find your true self to live smoothly.
Summary
9 ways to get rid of mind control and find yourself
1. Write down your memories
2. Present a problem
3. Have a meeting by yourself
4. Listen to a voice from your body
5. Talk to people
6. Consult a specialist
7. Understand your habit
8. Have a wide view
9. If you are given a month to live…