Some psychologists say “the first impression is decided in 2 minutes, and it doesn’t change”. It is true that we continue to have negative feeling toward things with bad first impression. It might be a very difficult thing to overturn the first impression and build good personal relationship.
When we meet new people, we are determined whether we can get along with them, or whether we are good person or not, in few seconds to few minutes unconsciously. They are looking at how you look, behave, and your atmosphere.
The first impression made soon after the first encounter is important enough to decide the future relationship that we can’t ignore it. Therefore, I will introduce ways to build good relationship using male psychology shown in behaviors. Please take a look.
7 male psychology learning for relation
-To be felt closer, say their names in conversations
It is a basic of business manner, repeat the names of people if they introduce themselves. In conversations that follow, try to include their names naturally.
When names are said in conversations, people unconsciously feel happy for being accepted and feel closer toward you. This is not only making them happy, but you also will feel closer to them.
-To ease the tension in the atmosphere, relax
Fixing ties or hair, or keeping legs straight are possibly the signs of being nervous. To ease the tension, you should relax first. For example, don’t keep the same posture for a long time. Once you maintain the same posture from the beginning, you can’t release the tension.
No matter how hard you try to have good reputation, nothing changes in an atmosphere with tension. You should change your posture first, and try to make relaxing atmosphere.
-Find many common points from conversation
Be careful if a person you are talking to is crossing arms or looking down and touching neck or nose! He/she might be tired or not interested in conversation, and his/her feeling is shown as behavior unconsciously.
We human tend to feel friendly for people who are similar to oneself, so we feel favorable for those who have common points or listen carefully to our talk. Therefore, broaden the conversation and find common points.
When you find common points, your talk will start moving and can acquire empathy. However, you need to be careful. It is not a comfortable thing to be asked many questions from a person who is not really close.
Don’t ask endless questions for trying to find common points. Also, people have some secrets, so it is wise to avoid private questions.
It is better to have one very deep affinity than to have many common and familiar things for good relation, so once you find a common point, go further with it and continue conversation about it.
-When listening, have interests and concerns
If you can’t find common points in the conversation, find what you feel interesting about his/her hobby or preference, and study it in depth with interests and concerns.
People tend to have favorable impression for those who listen to their story with interests. Don’t ever listen with “know-it-all attitude” even if you can’t find any common points. It will be an opposite effect if you are found not knowing anything about it.
-Subtly imitate gestures
Do you know “mirroring effect”? Mirroring effect is the effect you imitate behaviors and gestures of favorable person without notice. Make good use of this.
When he/she crosses legs, do the same, or if he/she drinks, you drink too. Imitate gestures of a person you are facing. Doing similar gesture at similar timing is recognized as friend or partner, so you can have good relationship.
However, you shouldn’t obviously imitate. Some people hate to be imitated, so it is important to do it subtly.
-Get closer
We unconsciously keep distance from others and try to keep comfortable atmosphere. In psychological term, this atmosphere is called personal space. Don’t you feel unpleasant when person behind you stand too close to you when you are standing in a line at cash register?
This emotion comes from your personal space being disturbed. You can make good use of this personal space to have an insight into people’s mind, or being favored. As I mentioned before, we unconsciously keep distance from others, and tend to get closer to people we feel friendly for.
If a person comes closer to you, it is a sign he/she wants to be friend with you. By reducing the distance of personal space, you can possibly be favored.
-Make sure with eye contact
We pay close attention to things we are interested in, but this doesn’t always mean positive feeling. To make sure, make an eye contact when you feel being watched by someone. If people look down, they are trying to hide their positive feeling.
A man who have favorable impression toward you tend to stare into your eyes when you talk. There is a reciprocity of liking in our psychology. This is that you feel concern or favor toward a person who likes you.
When you recognize that a person’s eyes are not showing favor toward you, use this reciprocity of liking. If you are a woman, look into eyes of person in front of you. If you are a man, look into eyes of a person talking. By doing so, your positive feeling is transferred and you can build good personal relationship.
What do you think?
We are showing our emotion in behavior and gestures without notice. We can make people feel favorable for you by understanding how you are thought from their gestures, or can show your favor toward them by your gesture.
To avoid making people feel uncomfortable, you should do things naturally. Of course, these are just tendencies and not always true. People feel differently. It is worth trying, though, so please make good use of them to build good personal relationship.
Summary
7 male psychology learning for relation
-To be felt closer, say their name in conversations
-To ease the tension in the atmosphere, relax
-Find many common points from conversation
-When listening, have interests and concerns
-Subtly imitate gestures
-Get closer
-Make sure with eye contact