Many people suppress their feelings or opinion,s and emotional expression is misrepresented or denied, that we think it’s better not to express our feelings as we get older.
But we humans naturally express emotions.
The society and relationship between each other will fail at some point without emotions.
Do you live like human? Or live without emotions like a robot?
Today let me explain how to acquire emotional expression in 6 steps.
Must-read: how to express emotions well in 6 steps
Step 1: Express negative feelings
Are you said to have an expressive face? If not, maybe it’s not good.
Those with poor facial expression muscles are easy to get frustrated, because the muscle is stiff.
It means frustrated people are poorer in facial expression or not good at emotional expression.
Those who naturally and regularly express their feelings can express even their anger, so it helps them from getting frustrated.
In a certain experiment, those who complained their pain during an injection felt less pain than those who endured.
Honestly saying that pain is pain, or anger is anger, eventually settles down your emotion.
Aren’t you hiding your anger and negative feelings under your expressionless face?
If so, quit it now. Your feeling will be more stable if you express.
- smile in front of a mirror
- If you cannot pinch eyebrows, your facial muscle is too stiff. Massage your face.
- Massage neck. Poor blood flow of neck leads to poor circulation of brain, which easily leads to frustration.
-Force to laugh out loud if you are happy.
(There is “laughing exercise” in yoga)
Step 2: Unconcernedly depend on others
More adults cannot depend on others recently. How about you?
70% of women in their 20s and 30s say they can’t or think it difficult to depend on others.
If you think adults shouldn’t rely on others, it’s critical. Adults of course can rely on other people.
If you think you can live on your own, you are not experiencing the true jot of life yet.
Attractive people are self-supportive and can depend on people around them.
Don’t pretend to be independent.
It’s your misunderstanding. Ask for help if you have a difficult time.
1. Get rid of an idea that you need to be independent.
(Always have an option to ask for help)
2. Think “to rely on others” is kindness
(“Not to rely on others” means you don’t trust them)
3. Don’t care too much about other people. Thinking too much about reducing their burden makes you difficult person to approach.
(If you don’t rely on others, they won’t rely on you)
To rely on others = To express al emotions to others (happy, angry, sad, fun)
If you show them every emotion, they will express their emotions.
Step 3: “Anything is OK” is a word of an evil
“You are a person of indecision.” Not only at work, also think of dinner or dating in private. It’s always not you who makes a decision…
Don’t you have your opinion? Or you just can’t say it.
If you hesitate to say your opinion, try to say. Just by little is OK.
Start with easy thing. For example, “I want to eat pasta”, “I’m in a mood of eating spicy foods”, or “how about Japanese dish, to be healthy?” Continue to do so.
Never say “Anything is OK”, though. That is the worst choice you can make.
You are relying everything on your partner. No matter how bad the restaurant was or how badly you were served, you would never be blamed, because you didn’t choose.
You can blame everything on him/her. Not saying your opinion means you are giving up your responsibility.
“Anything is OK” is same as “whatever”. It is disappointing to hear “Anything is OK” every time you ask.
So, make sure to say your opinion. Whether you are accepted or not, the important thing is to say the opinion.
It is a message of telling “I’m taking you seriously”. Think of an importance of expressing your will.
1. Not only telling the fact objectively, say the opinion from your point of view.
2. If you are always in same position, ask “can I decide today?”
3. Use “I” as a subject. (I like, I want, etc.)
4. Accept the opinion of others, and yet insist your opinion as well.
Step 4: Thank than apologize
When you pick up lost property, do you feel happy to be said “sorry”?
Or prefer “Thank you”?
Sorry is apologizing for picking up his/her thing.
Thank you is appreciating.
A person who picked up a thing did so from his will, so it’s not appropriate to be apologized. It is rather appreciated. Don’t you have a habit of saying sorry?
Appreciation is only understood by communication, so say “thank you” frequently, even to a small thing.
It can make people happy.
A small happiness you give may return to you as a big happiness. Sow happiness by yourself.
1. Generously express you positive feelings
(ex. happiness, applause, respect, impression, excitement)
2. Replace negative words to positive words
(ex. Laid-back→outgoing, grumpy→have a thoughts in different perspective, inflexible→have a strong believe)
Step 5:Crying is one of your job
Haven’t cried for several years? Maybe you are losing emotions.
Do you realize that? Express yourself. You can cry, or you need to cry.
Crying has an effect on stress relief. If you can’t cry, you are keeping your stress inside. It will overflow someday and you can’t control.
Then it’s too late to relief stress. So have a habit of crying.
“We only cry when sad.”
No, it’s not. We cry when we feel emotions. Happy, relieved, surprised or any other feelings.
When you feel like crying, it’s the time.
If you endure to cry, you can’t be emotional. (Same as you become constipated if you hold to go to bathroom.)
Books, movies, DVDs, music, people or anything you think you can cry is good. Prepare them to use whenever you feel stressed.
Cry at least once a week if possible. If not enough, cry everyday.
Eventually you will feel refreshed that you can’t cry anymore.
-cry to your fill
(cry from impressive things, not from sadness)
Step 6:Write down your feelings
The most important thing in emotional expression is not to hide and ignore your emotions. If you don’t know the feeling yourself, it can’t be expressed to others. Even if it is a negative emotion, feel it.
The easiest way is to use paper and a pen. Write a diary everyday, in the beginning or at the end of the day.
Make a habit of carrying around a notebook and write down feelings whenever you feel.
By doing this, you can see your emotions and you can look back to understand the trend of your feelings.
By understanding “when you feel how”, you can cope with your emotions in many situations.
So prepare something to write with and have a time to check your emotions. It helps your emotional expression.
1. Do things directly related to emotions (singing, dancing, acting, etc.)
2. Express emotions without words (draw pictures, choose colors, etc.)
How was it?
-if you have problem expressing your emotions, exaggerate your expression.
-write your feelings honestly using diaries or blogs
Know yourself, and express it to others. If you can understand yourself, there is no need to smooth over yourself. And not just expressing your emotion as it is, think of others and express in an appropriate way.
It’s just a part of manners, to act and express emotions without making others feel bad. By practicing the tips above, you will be a master of emotional expression and manners.